So, I have been thinking that I’m this really nice woman. Caring daughter, loving wife and mom, supportive sister and sister in law, and fierce friend. But, today I was thinking about social media and all the people that bug me. These are the people that I follow on instagram or twitter. They are the same people I will probably never, ever meet in real life.
These are not real celebrities that I think the world of because of all the hard work and dedication it has taken to get them to where they are professionally. These are not even politicians that I may disagree with on any particular topic but are doing something they believe is good. These are ” pseudo celebrities”, who have a big following in the same vain of the Kardashian’s. In other words, they are famous for being famous. Many started out that way and now have deals or as they call them “partnerships” with a variety of clothing lines, jewelry designers, house ware companies, shoe manufacturers, storage companies and the like. They are making big money now. But, that’s not my problem with them. I am actually happy that the American dream of prosperity has found a new marketplace all over the internet and new people are becoming very well off.
What bothers me is the excess consumption and the lack of values they are portraying. It is hard for me to watch some of these insta-stories. It is not that things look too perfect. We all have become accustomed to that from Facebook or Fakebook as someone brilliantly called it. What turns my stomach is the constant things they are modeling or selling. It is the over consumption with no time, no attention, or thought being put into how they can donate all these clothes, or body lotions, or hair accessories, make up or pajamas to those less fortunate. Seriously, there are not enough days in a year to wear or use all these products. It is giving a enormous value to a life of possessions. These people are saying the more I have the better my life is and the better your life will be too if purchase tons of things you don’t really need. This type of life is without any personal depth or emotional connections, spirituality.
I own too much stuff too. I sometimes have trouble eliminating and saying good bye to the clothes I own but no longer wear. I think to myself as I am cleaning out a closet or drawer, “I may want or need this someday”. But, I am actually cleaning out and donating my gently used or worn items to those in need.
So I am a little mean. I use my values as my moral compass. Unfortunately that sometimes includes silently, judging others. That makes me a little mean and whole lot uncomfortable with myself. I am uncomfortable with my own judgements because I truly believe that in order to make this world a better place, we have to be much more tolerant of everyone’s physical appearances, political, religious beliefs and differences. I do not care if you have pink hair, wear blue button up shirts everyday, call jeans dungarees, wear flip flops in a snow storm. I do not care what religion you practice. I do not care what your political views are unless yours are going to hurt a group of people. I know we need to have softer hearts that open easily and minds that are eager to hear and learn another persons perspective. I know that is how we grow and evolve as both individuals and as a society.
So when I judge someone I am going to remind myself of a few things. First, I am going to realize I am judging and remind myself that I do not like how I feel after a judgement runs through my head. It doesn’t even have to be said out loud for me to be upset afterwards. Once, I am coming from a place of judgement I can no longer be open to hear, see, learn and think. Secondly, I am going to stop the thought in its tracks. Then, I will start with a new thought which will be better and kinder. Thirdly, I will come from love. I will tell myself what I already know to be true. I only know part of any story or part of any one’s life. No one, not on instagram, and not even our closest and best friend’s share every thought, feeling or nuance of their lives with us.
I ‘d love if you would make a vow to ourself to stop your judgements. I would love our lives to become judgement free zones.