~This I Want You To Know~
As the Fall approaches I often find myself searching for something. I’m not sure if it originally was tied to being a student, then a teacher, then a mom. For most of my life I have been in one way or another tied to the school calendar. Each school year with new teachers, new notebooks, fresh pens and pencils always felt like a new beginning.
I have a feeling that my desire for a fresh take on life is tied to the Jewish autumnal holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The meaning behind these Holy Days has to do with a New Year, a fresh start and wiping the slate clean. All souls crave renewal and sustenance. Our souls want to be involved in doing good and reaching higher levels of moral development. It really doesn’t matter what religion you are or what you believe in. Anyone can understand the desire for a new beginning. You might believe in God, the Universe, or some other powerful being . Nonetheless, we all yearn to turn the page and hope for a more evolved, transformative beginning.
In order to move forward, we have to look back. I was just discussing the other day that there are things I would have done differently as a parent when my children were young. I would have tried to slow down the pace of running from school, to after school activities, homework, dinner, baths or showers, bedtime routines . Ultimately, I would have liked to find a way to take us all off the hamster wheel that I felt we were spinning on. I would have liked to teach my children to stop and notice the little things in life. I would have liked to point out that the flowers are blooming, the leaves are changing colors, the days are growing shorter or longer. But, something tells me that I did point out the little things. I just don’t think I did it often enough. I would have liked to have said, “You have done enough homework today. Forty math examples is ridiculous. You can do, all the odd or even problems instead.” After all, you either know the work or not after completing twenty problems. I would have liked to have found more of a middle ground between wanting my children to excel (they had the ability) and wanting them to be children. But, they were children. They played with every toy imaginable and every type of block, paint, clay and creative element I could find or their minds and hands would design. Yet, there always seemed be some sort of parenting pressure. Pressure that inadvertently, I passed onto my children.
When I look forward I’d like to eliminate the pressure I feel internally to sometimes be MORE of everything. More focused, more controlled, more knowing when to push or withdraw, when to talk or guide and when to be silent. I’d like to do this not only for me but more so, to be able to transmit to my daughters that they don’t have to be MORE of anything then they are already. They are enough. They count. Their individual thoughts and ideas, the strength of their opinions, their convictions and their voices all show how much they matter. It is so easy for us to forget how much we mean to others. And, it is easy for us to dilute how much what we say or do matters to those around us. I never want my daughters, or your daughters to disregard themselves and the impact they make daily on their corner of the world.
Yet, very often we are all faced with an internal tug of war. Sometimes the inner war is focused on the very big things like doing good verses doing not so good. I genuinely believe that we really don’t want to choose to be or do evil acts. Sometimes the inner tug of war is smaller like choosing to whether to eat the cake or not. But when the tug of war is significant – like choosing to come from love or to come from ego – there often doesn’t feel like there is a choice. We know what we must do. But often we choose wrong and mess up. Even with soul consciousness we let our ego win. This is part of the human condition. We all struggle. We have custom designed struggles of our own. We know we must come from love, compassion and comfort. We know that’s how we want to be treated. We want understanding and love. We have it in our power to begin again, start again, choose to come from love.
So whether or not you will celebrate the Jewish Holy Days this fall, know that you are enough and you matter. You do not have to suffer from the internal tug of war all the time because you very often you know what is correct and soul elevating. You have the ability to choose to come from love daily. When you mess up, just like I do, you and I have the opportunity to pick and come from a better place, right then and there. We are so fortunate that we get to start over multiple times each day if necessary. We get to be kinder, more caring and show more empathy and adoration to our loved ones and to ourselves.
Here is what I pray for myself and you all as well. May you be blessed in the Book Of Life with a year filled with good health, joy and opportunities to be better then you were last year.